|Sexy Santa lingerie|
Stop, take a long hard look at yourself and think. Is Sexy Santa lingerie on her Christmas wish list, or yours...?
When she said she'd like a "nice dressing gown from M&S", she was hinting at something silky and lacy from Rosie Huntington-Whiteley's range, not a 'housecoat' fit for Nora Batty.
|Plastic surgery voucher|
Rule number one: It's okay for women to say they're not happy with their appearance. It's NEVER okay for you to agree. This voucher is a one-way ticket to D.I.V.O.R.C.E.
|Shaping underwearAnything that suggests that the recipient is anything less than perfect will go down worse than Frankie Boyle at a kid's Christmas party.|
The describer 'one size fits all' on these leggings is your first clue. Banish all thought of sexy snow-bunnies in Alpine ski lodges - these beasts are guaranteed to look terrible on everyone.
|Workout DVDWomen dream of spending Christmas day eating roast potatoes and Quality Street with their feet up watching Top of the Pops and Downton. They do not dream of being 'Reem in 20 minutes'...|
|Novelty Christmas jumperIn fact, make that anything with the word 'novelty' in the title...|
|Fake designer handbagNothing says "I don't really think that much of you" quite like a handbag by 'Louis Vilton'. If you can't stretch to a designer bag, better to opt for the (genuine) perfume.|
Never buy a woman an iron for Christmas unless you want to get hit over the head with it.
|Cheap engagement ringIf you're thinking of popping the question this Christmas, it's SO not about a 'created ruby and diamond ring' #justsaying|
|50 Shades of Grey charm braceletGuys, this is 50 shades of WRONG. Don't even think about it - or anything else tenuously linked to 50 Shades of Grey for that matter.X-mas Gift|